From the Mind of Janeway's Replicator
by TrekkieBaby
Summary: This is a story fromt the POV a Janeway's 'glorified toaster' What if it has a mind of it's own? If you want to figure out what happens to this sassy replicator, ok, I have to post so forget the 7 reveiws! it will be posted by the end of the day!
1. Chapter 1

From the Mind of Janeway's Replicator:

That lady thinks she can get away with calling me a glorified toaster? She better think again! There is no way I am letting that woman get away with this! There is one sure way to get back at her though…I'll screw up her coffee! *Evil laughter!*

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"Coffee, black," she says to me. Ok, what should I do? I only have a few seconds… "Ugh! This tastes like Leola Root!"

Hehehe…I knew it! She hates Leola Root! This could be fun…

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Ow! What the hell lady?! Why are you pulling me apart? Do you have any idea how much this hurts?! Ok, now that you've got me in pieces lying on the floor what are you going to do? Are you going to stare at me to death? Hehehe…

Well I am going to sing a song if you don't mind…

_I'm a replicator_

_Short and stout_

_Here is your coffee_

_Now you're gonna pout_

'_What the hell is in this'_

_You will shout_

'_You glorified toaster_

_Get it out!'_

How did you like my song *MISS* Janeway? Hey, when are you ever going to do anything with that Chakotay guy? I listen to *him*… He is so cute, and handsome, and his eyes, oh his eyes! I wonder if he has a cute replicator…

Holy crap! He's here! What is he doing? Oh…he's touching me! Now he's…putting me back together? That is so nice of him! He is so sweet! After that witch took me apart…I am so happy!

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Ok…now that *Chakotay* put me back together he wants a gourmet meal? Ok then; I'll do it!

Hey! I am a good idea! I am going to get Janeway and Chakotay together! Maybe that will get her off my back about the coffee! That's it! I am going to cook her favorite meal.

"This isn't what I asked for…" he muttered.

Oh get over it! She'll love it!

"Oh Chakotay; how did you know I loved this? It is my favorite meal!"

"Um…lucky guess?" he said. Honey, luck had nothing to do with it! It was all me! He turned at me and smiled. "Thanks," he whispered. Oh! I _really_ hope he has a cute replicator!

They sat there, ate dinner, and talked…yada, yada, yada… Come on; kiss her!

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He kissed her! Oh it was so sweet! She told him not to leave and took him into her bedroom. Maybe they are going to talk some more…

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What in all of the food pyramid is going on? They are making _really_ weird noises! Don't they know that a replicator needs her beauty sleep? Oh, I get it. They are playing a game to see who can make the weirdest noise! Well, why can't they do that at another time? This is really annoying.

Well, I guess I better _try_ and get to sleep…it couldn't hurt could it?

Oh no! What is that? It's coming closer! No! NO!!!!!!!!!!!

**If you want to know what happens to the replicator then I have to get at least 7 reviews…so the more people review the faster this goes! ---TrekkieBaby---**


	2. Difference Between Tom and Evil

Sorry that it was a little bit before I updated but I got into a bad car wreck…I'm ok now though so don't worry! 

What's the Difference between Tom Paris and Evil?

NO! Wait…it's just Tom! Hi Tom! How are you doing? Are you going to say anything or…oh yeah…you can't hear me! Silly me! Ok…so you want a holo-imager? Ok…what ever…

Are Chakotay and 'The Witch' dressed up weird while making their funny noises? I hope they are! Show me the pictures when you get done ok?

So, Tom is going into the room now. He is being very sneaky. I don't think that Janeway likes Tom when he acts sneaky. I wonder why…he isn't doing anything wrong is he?

So, anyways, Tom is going in there while I am *trying* to hum the Mission Impossible theme song. It seems like it would fir the moment. Tom is running out of the room now. I wonder what's going on. Nobody else is coming! I mean come on! Why isn't Janeway yelling something? She tells at me *all* of the time…Oh no! I think she likes Tom better!

Well, if that's the way she feels then I am going to go to sleep! I'm not sure how that's threatening, but I am very tired! Hmp!

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*Yawn!* Good morning world, how have you been? Hey! It's Janeway! Hi! Wait…I don't like you right now so forget I said anything! She is in her pink robe. Man, I can't remember the last time I saw her wear that!

Here comes Chak- Whoa! Chakotay looks *really* good in just his underwear! Meow! Wait, that isn't right! He should *not* be in his underwear around Janeway! That is just wrong! They must have also played truth or dare…

She's coming over here to get her coffee…Here you go! I hope you like it! *Hehehe!* "Uck! What the hell is up with this replicator?"

Chakotay came up from behind her and hugged her. He took the coffee from her and he is ordering some for himself. Weird, he takes his coffee the same way Janeway does. Well, I'll make his good!

He's turning around and- Whoa! Look at that butt! Wait, this is not appropriate! Don't look…shutting my eyes…peeking…I have to look… What? He's gone! He gave the coffee to *her* Well, that did not go as I planned…

Ok, so now that they're sitting on the couch (while SHE is drinking the coffee I gave HIM) they are talking. Blah…blah…and more blah…ok I think they done and whoa! How many times am I going to say whoa? Anyways I am shutting my eyes! What ever they are doing is *NOT* supposed to be witnessed. I am going to sing another song in the mean time…

_Once there was a replicator,_

_Replicator_

_Replicator_

_Once there was a replicator_

_Who didn't like Janeway_

_When she wanted her coffee_

_Her coffee_

_Her coffee_

_When she wanted her coffee_

_She turned the other way_

Ok…now *that* made me feel better! Hey, where'd they go? Great, you sing a song and then people go away. Well, that's kind of offensive!

I guess that I'm just a lonely replicator again. Sigh…hey, someone's coming! Ok, don't jump to conclusions! You know what happened the last time you did that! Ok, he's coming closer!

What the hell? He has a hockey mask on! And a chainsaw! It's just like one of Tom's horror movies! NO…


End file.
